Dissobedience....

Have you ever had the gut feeling that you should have done something and yet, you didn't? I had one of those moments today and it kills me inside so let me tell you about it.

Anyway, tonight we took our Seniors out to eat at Outback Steakhouse downtown and it was a great time. We did this to celebrate their time in the dorms and the fact that they graduate in four weeks. Just to let you know, these guys are quality and will be attending some quality univeristies in the states like UPenn, Michigan State, Purdue, and University of Wisconsin. Congrats guys!

So we all had a ton to eat at Outback...we got appetizers and some of the guys got steaks and I got the alice springs chicken. And man, it was good. So we finished and a bunch of us got a small loaf of their delicious break to take home. And so we leave Outback to find a taxi.

Anyway, to find a taxi, we had to cross the street which means going underground to where there are some shops, but you have to take some stairs to get down there. This is where the disobedience starts. On these stairs there is usually one person begging and tonight was no exception. There was a guy there with a box in front of him for money and he looked like he was asleep. So as I'm passing him I think "oh man, this stinks, I don't have any money to give him." Which I didn't, so I get to the top of the stairs and I look down at my hand and noticed that I have the bag with the bread in it.

Then in my mind I hear God saying, go down to that man and offer him the bread. But I think "how, I can't speak korean....he looks like he's asleep...what would other Koreans think about this." As this is going through my head we hang out at a store basically right in front of the stairs where the homeless man is. We stood there for probably 10 minutes and did I go down there and offer him the bread. "No." And that's the part that bothers me. Sure, I can think of helping people out, but I can't do it myself. Why???? I always come up with lame excuses like "he might be faking". If he is faking, who cares? It's a loaf of bread and it's done for the name of the Lord. How can that be wrong. And sure, language is a barrier, but with Christ are there barriers? I beg to answer, "no".

So it's been a tough night for me mentally. I feel like the Lord is speaking to me and yet, sometimes it's so tough for me to answer. I feel like part of me is scared to follow his will and it will lead me to a more uncomfortable life. But you know what...that is exactly what i need. I live far too confortably as a Christian. Tonight I gorged myself on delicious food, in fact, couldn't finish some of the stuff on my plate. I came home with a small loaf of delicious outback bread. And yet....there are millions out there starving....starving of real food and spiritual food.

This isn't to make anybody feel bad or to condemn myself....I write this so that next time this happens, I can remember this moment and not let it happen again.

The Lord is good...he doesn't strike down those who don't listen to him every time. He is patient and just and I pray that I will receive more opportunities.

Anyway, hope you are all having a wonderful week!

Blessings,

Mike